If I were to take a personality test, it would say I was the type of person that was caring, humble, trustworthy, reliable, etc. What it fails to always mention is that these traits tend to mean I drop everything to be caring and humble to those around me, and leave nothing for myself.
Although I love being there for my friends and family, I do believe it is healthy to have some personal time. Don’t get me wrong, I love just lounging around the couch, watching Grey’s or whatever might be on, but the minute the phone rings, I am all over it, throwing on my shoes, and I’m out the door.
I think this comes from a number of places.
1. I like to please everyone and don’t want to tell them no, as in some other universe, it may be interpreted as letting them down. I want them to feel like if they call me, they know they can count on me to show up.
2. I have this fear that I might miss out on something important, or not even important but memorable, and when I am out next, everyone will refer to the night that I missed out on. Stupid yes, usually fears are based on something stupid.
3. I am social butterfly and love time with friends. It is hard to turn down an event, b/c I love my socially active life.
So here is my new plan. I am going to continue to go out and have a good time, but not at the detriment of my sanity. If I need to do laundry/dishes/pay bills/ or just lay back and kick it, I will agree to stay home and do just that.
Some people may get where I am coming from, and others may think I put too much thought into it, but I would like to leave you with a quote from Buddha…
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
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I love this post. It's a very difficult balance, but the moment that you find it...it's glorious. And good friends, which you happen to have, would want nothing more for you to be exactly where you wanted to be. I'll do some SERIOUS talking about organizing the next time we have wine if that makes it better ;)
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