Welcome home!

So for those of you that do not already know, I have purchased my first home. It was a fluke really. I didn't plan on this for several more years, but with rising rental costs, it was the practical thing to do. After one foreclosure and one nightmare "almost" purchase, I settled on my third finding and am thrilled with my choice.

I began searching in September, and feel like after all the effort and stress, I truly found a great house. I pay Richardson taxes (plus) and yet my district can attend Plano schools (best of both worlds). my foundation is intact (which is unheard of in Texas) and I hope it stays that way. I closed on Thursday and then flew out Saturday to meet my new nephew Ryan, but can't wait to get back and begin work on the place. I have decided to awaken my dusty blog and revamp it with updates from my house. I plan on going room by room, and will include before and after photos. This will be no easy task, but I am so excited to get moved in and start the renovations.

It's All About Me!!

If I were to take a personality test, it would say I was the type of person that was caring, humble, trustworthy, reliable, etc. What it fails to always mention is that these traits tend to mean I drop everything to be caring and humble to those around me, and leave nothing for myself.
Although I love being there for my friends and family, I do believe it is healthy to have some personal time. Don’t get me wrong, I love just lounging around the couch, watching Grey’s or whatever might be on, but the minute the phone rings, I am all over it, throwing on my shoes, and I’m out the door.
I think this comes from a number of places.

1. I like to please everyone and don’t want to tell them no, as in some other universe, it may be interpreted as letting them down. I want them to feel like if they call me, they know they can count on me to show up.
2. I have this fear that I might miss out on something important, or not even important but memorable, and when I am out next, everyone will refer to the night that I missed out on. Stupid yes, usually fears are based on something stupid.
3. I am social butterfly and love time with friends. It is hard to turn down an event, b/c I love my socially active life.

So here is my new plan. I am going to continue to go out and have a good time, but not at the detriment of my sanity. If I need to do laundry/dishes/pay bills/ or just lay back and kick it, I will agree to stay home and do just that.


Some people may get where I am coming from, and others may think I put too much thought into it, but I would like to leave you with a quote from Buddha…
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

Resolute This!!!

So a new year has begun, and with it, new promises of a better tomorrow. I am sticking with my annual “lose weight” resolution. I realize that some people may find this repetitive, but I know that one year, I will no longer need this resolution :)

I am dusting off my work out clothes, pulling out the old gym card, and starting cooking again. I must say I am most excited about the cooking. I finally got my grill up and running and can’t wait to start grilling everything in sight.
As a part of my new diet regimen, I am cutting back on drinking, (Shriek!!) I Know!!
No worries Apple, I will exclude such occasions as your birthday shindig. I know that the calories don’t help my cause, and the hangovers will just jack with my workout schedule.
I hope everyone enjoyed their New Year and I look forward to a fresh start.

BFF

When I was little, I had an abundance of friends. It was easy then; you wanted to play hide-n-seek, and playmates came from all over to join you. Of course, only a few were awarded the label “best friend”. Even as a child, I knew that friendships come, and friendships go, and I was content in that notion, because there was a plethora of friends to chose from.

Today, friendships are not so easy. It takes more effort, more give and take. With my new confidence in tact (Ahem, Apple), I have discovered that some friendships, however entertaining, are not always the best thing for you. Sometimes it is good to step back and take a break, because we all need breaks sometimes.

As I get older, I have become pickier about who I let in my circle, and who deserves my time. I am very happy with the people in my life that I consider friends. I know I can count on them no matter what, whether it be crying like a baby after a breakup, or venting about everything under the sun.

I realize now, after all these years, that friendships do not come free, they must be earned and appreciated. I can not, and refuse to settle for less. I will leave you all with a quote that spoke volumes to me.

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”
- Maureen Dowd

Fallen Soldier

In the wake of the events that unfolded at Ft. Hood last night, I am disturbed and shaken to my core. How someone can have such disregard for human life is beyond my comprehension.

This act of hatred awakens feelings that I have suppressed since the 9/11 attacks. I was deeply moved then, and maybe even more so now. My brother just left for boot camp not 3 weeks ago, luckily stationed in a fort outside of Texas. I couldn’t help but wonder what the families are going through, thinking what if it were my brother’s fort. Not to sound overly dramatic, just overcome with emotion. It hit home for me.


My heart goes out to all family members and friends that were affected by this tragedy. It is things like this that remind me how important it is to live each day to the fullest, because you never know if it will be your last. I want all my family and friends to know that I love each and every one of you. Please keep all our soldiers in your prayers.

Self Acceptance

I am a firm believer in the power of the mind, the way your thoughts can provoke feelings of self doubt, or renewed confidence in one’s self. I for one, allow my thoughts to dictate my mood. I tell myself I can’t do something, and surprise, surprise, I don’t do it. I have inner struggles with myself, (taking crazy to a whole new level). I am a work in progress, but then aren’t we all?

What I lack in confidence, I make up for with my friends. I think people tend to surround themselves around others that they admire or aspire to be. One trait that I do not possess is an overly confident attitude. A “kiss my ass if you don’t like it”, if you will. I long for the day that I truly disregard others opinions of me. And as if the outside world’s views aren’t bad enough, I have an inner monologue of self doubt, playing like a broken record. Whoever said, “no one can make you feel inferior but yourself” is a genius. I control how I let people’s opinions affect me. Which means I have the power to change it.



I am blessed to be surrounded by friends that exude self confidence. Every one of my friends have strong characteristics that I admire. They help me see that I am stronger and more confident than I let on. For all my friends out there, I want to say thank you, for inspiring me daily to be the best that I can be, today. I want to leave you all with a quote that I love.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
-- Dr. Seuss

The Non-Committal Man

So my short stint at dating has already come to a crashing halt. After escaping a 5 year relationship that really should have ended 3 years in, I was eager to get out in the dating world. Trying to heal my bruised ego, from months of self doubt in a relationship going nowhere, I was looking for someone that would boost my self esteem and renew my faith in men.

I guess that is a lot of expectations for my unsuspecting new date J

We met at a kickball tournament end of season bash (AKA Zypher’s) through connections of April, and I should of known from the start it was doomed. He went on about how he too had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship as well and was afraid of the idea of marriage. April forewarned me, but did I listen? No!! I was not looking for anything serious anyway, so I disregarded the warning signs, and voila, my dating disaster began.

My date, (let’s call him noncommittal man), and I had fun at first. We went out for dinners, watched movies together, even spent the day at the fair. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized why he was single. He was non committal towards everything. He was so worried about the idea of a “relationship” of any kind, that he didn’t want to meet my friends! That’s right folks, he was afraid to meet my friends b/c then people might think we were (gasp) dating!! He wasn’t looking for anything serious either.

I told him that if he ever wanted to date anyone, it would involve going out and being social. No such luck. So now I am done. I’m sorry, but trying to convince someone to hang out with my friends, is not my idea of someone I want to date.

I am not throwing in the towel yet, dating is still on the agenda, but maybe next time I will be more picky about who I will allow into my world.